Stop Reacting & Start Responding Book Review: Do Not Read

Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines worldview as "the way someone thinks about the world".  Your worldview helps define the way that you feel, understand, and view all other things in the world - hence the word: world-view.  The author of Stop Reacting and Start Responding™ and I have drastically different worldviews, to say the least.

Have you ever participated in an activity and when it was done thought, "I will never get those hours back."  That is exactly how I felt reading Stop Reacting and Start Responding™ by Sharon Silver; like I had just wasted precious hours of my life that I would never be able to get back. Ever.

I read Sharon Silver's book over the weekend and was a bit horrified by the "advice" that she offers with regards to parenting.  Much of what she said was dull and unhelpful, in general, but every now and then she would say something that would make me stop and say "WHAT?!"  For example, Sharon has a chapter called "Chores - Whirlwind Sunday" - I'm sure that you can see where this is going.  Sharon encourages that you should spend Sunday mornings, after breakfast, doing chores with the family.  Obviously, I'm strongly opposed to this idea.  We save Sundays for the Lord and believe that God gave us 6 other days of the week to accomplish our tasks so that we can rest and focus on Him on Sundays.  Our worldviews cause us to part ways on this topic.  Don't worry - it didn't stop there.

My "religious" affiliations aside, Sharon had some down-right idiotic (sorry for the strong language) ideas as well - like "Junk Food or Healthy - Pig Day".  She recommends that one day a week, you allow your child to dictate what they eat -- all of it.  This idea just doesn't make any sense, and is a terrible idea!  I want to encourage my child to make the right decisions, and not by going to bed with a sick stomach (which is one of the benefits that Sharon puts forth with this idea).  Instead, I invite my daughters to help make dinner - they help pick out appropriate foods at the store, assist in the preparation, and see her parents set a good example by eating what is good and not bad for her!  So far, this is working in my household.  If you saw my kids eat, you would switch to our method!

Sharon's book is full of temporary changes, frustratingly ideas for how to manipulate and trick your child into obedience, and lots of encouragement for allowing your child to dictate their own lifestyle.  I also read Amy Lynn Andrew's book Tell Your Time (which I'll be reviewing tomorrow), and was struck by a comment that she made which was completely unrelated to parenting, but resonated with how I felt in regards to Sharon's parenting tips - "Changes on the outside are short-lived at best and completely ineffective at worst." (Tell Your Time, pg 7).

As I struggled through Sharon's book, I could hear Tedd Tripp in the back of my mind - reminding me that it is NOT about the actions, but the heart behind the actions that we should focus on!  I want my kids to obey not because I tricked them into making the right decision, but because they want to obey with a heart that longs to serve God.

Please, do not be tempted by what Oprah recommends in the parenting department (as if that even needs be addressed) - here are a few great parenting books that will actually work and help you foster Godly and obedient children who blossom into productive, happy, and loving adults.  Isn't that what we're ultimately seeking for in our children's futures?!  Not a temporary fix that will lead to greater issues down the road, but a solid foundation on which to build a lasting desire for what is good.

• Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp

• NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman

I am a participant in a Living My MoMent campaign for Proactive Parenting™ and have received the e-book Stop Reacting and Start Responding™ by Sharon Silver as part of my participation.  If you have been offended by my opinions above; this was not my intent, but felt compelled to give this book my honest review.