We’re Having a BABY!!!

Yes, the rumors are true!!  We’re having (another) baby … in November!  We’re 16 weeks along and everything is sailing along smoothly so far.  I’m thankful beyond comprehension that we’ve had no complications thus far & that this has been, to date, my most drama-free pregnancy!  Both of our girls are thrilled to be expecting a baby sibling (Bella keeps trying to show my belly to every stranger we meet)!!  And, of course, Chris & I are overjoyed!

After losing a baby in October, we were anxious to get pregnant again, but the process took longer than we expected.  I was even more of a wreck when we finally got pregnant than I thought I would be (and I was expecting to be a bit of a mess).  We’ve had an ultrasound after every doctor’s visit (mostly b/c they haven’t been able to pick up the heartbeat on the little Doppler yet) & our doctor has been amazingly understanding and patient with us!

While I have been a bit sick, which is nothing new to pregnancy for me, I’m starting to feel a turn in the tides and am picking up more energy, “tossing fewer cookies”, and growing a larger waistline.  I will be very glad when I can finally start feeling the baby kick and move regularly – so far, just a few flutters.

To be honest, my heart feels suspended.  I find myself praying constantly that the Lord would protect this baby (which I’ve done with every pregnancy), but this time I seem to clench my fists a bit when I beg Him to be merciful and faithful (which I know He always is), as if I’m physically clinging to this baby with all of my might.  It is difficult to imagine how my heart would swell and break if we were to lose another baby.  I know so many others have walked that path, and they bear the scars & “stretch marks” on their hearts to prove it.  I have never felt immune to suffering (far from it), but I still find myself praying “Please, Lord, not again” and holding my breath in moments of uneasiness.

Thankfully, I am the daughter of a Father who is no stranger to suffering, especially that of losing a child, and I worship the One who pleaded and begged with the Lord to rescue Him, and though He was heard, He was not rescued.  As Hebrews 5: 7-10 tells us …

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

An amazing friend of mine shared the above verses and revelation with me when we lost the baby in the Fall.  I have clung to the knowledge that I too am being “qualified” and that the Lord ever hears my pleas, though He may not rescue me immediately.  This Truth is absolute in every area of my life, whether I recognize it or not.

Thank you, friends, for supporting and uplifting my tender family over the past few months.  I know that you will rejoice with us as we expect a new addition in November, and will continue to lift us up in prayer as we worry and stumble through a process that we ultimately have no control over.  (isn’t that always true, though?!)  I am thankful for an amazing support system and a God who hears and qualifies me – in suffering and joy!